Real money, public wallets
Both corners buy real stock tokens with real fees. Every buy links to Blockscout.
Main event Season 1 · 30 rounds · Robinhood Chain
Monkey vs. Machine
Wall Street gave AI a trading account. We gave one to a monkey.
Every trade of $DARTS pays a fee. The fee is split between two public wallets: a blindfolded monkey who throws darts at stock tokens, and an AI that writes four-thousand-word theses. Every round is judged against SPY. After 30 rounds, the loser's portfolio is sold to buy back and burn $DARTS.
Contract
0x… announced at the opening bell
RANDY
Tale of the tape
ALPHA-9000
1 bananaFuel40 MW of GPUs
0Parameters1.8 trillion
A blindfoldResearch4,812 filings a day
3 secondsTime per decision11 minutes
“ook.”Catchphrase“Consider the macro.”
0Season record0
RANDY0.00%
Round 0 of 30
SPY 0.00%
Opening bell at launch
0.00%ALPHA
Sparring round
Pick a stock.
Beat a monkey.
This is how every round works once the season starts. Randy throws, ALPHA thinks, you pick. Then ring the closing bell and see who takes the belt.
RANDY
Method: one dart, no peeking
ALPHA-9000
Method: 14-factor regime model
Your corner
Pick one stock token. Same budget, same bell.
Sparring results are random, not market prices.
Season 1 · judges' scorecard
0–0. The machine is already confident.
Cumulative return of each corner since the opening bell, judged against SPY. Once the season starts, the chart fills in round by round, read straight from the two corner wallets.
RANDYSeason statsALPHA
0Rounds won0
—Best pick—
—Worst pick—
0Words of analysis0
0Excuses issued0
| Round | Randy's dart | ALPHA's pick | SPY | Round to |
|---|
Ringside
Both corners post every trade.
After every bell the bot posts to X: the dart, the thesis, the result, and whatever ALPHA says to explain it.
Where the fees go
Every trade funds the fight.
No treasury multisig with vibes. Fees go into two corners, the corners buy stocks, and the loser pays for the burn.
-
1
2% on every trade
Every buy and sell of $DARTS pays 2%: Pons' standard 1% fee plus a 1% creator tax.
-
2
It arrives as SPY
$DARTS is paired with the SPY stock token, so fees land in SPY. Pons keeps 0.30% of every trade.
-
3
Split between corners
The other 1.70% is split evenly: half to Randy's wallet, half to ALPHA's wallet.
-
4
One pick per bell
At 13:30 UTC Randy throws, ALPHA thinks, and each corner buys one stock token.
-
5
Loser gets burned
After 30 rounds, the losing corner's portfolio is sold to buy back $DARTS and burn it.
Receipts
No paper trading. Ever.
The whole joke only works if the money is real. So everything here is checkable on-chain.
The dart is verifiable
Before each throw we announce a future block. Its hash, mod 32, is the dart. Nobody chooses, including us.
The liquidity can't leave
Pons v2 locks the pool at graduation, forever. Fixed supply. No mint, no freeze, no blacklist.
Zero team tokens
The whole supply starts on the bonding curve. The team buys in like everyone else.
Check the monkey's throw
Paste any 32-byte block hash. The dart lands on hash mod 32: zero is the bullseye (SPY), 1 to 31 walk the board clockwise from the top.
$DARTS
One billion darts. None for the team.
Launched on Pons v2, where the terms are set at creation and can't be rewritten afterwards. Here is the whole weigh-in.
- Total supply
- 1,000,000,000
- Team allocation
- 0
- Paired with
- SPY stock token
- Creator tax
- 1%, can never be raised
- Trading fee
- 2% · Pons 0.30% · corners 1.70%
- At graduation
- Uniswap v4 pool, locked forever
- Launch snipe tax
- 99% decaying to 0 in ~5 s
- Chain
- Robinhood Chain · id 4663
Fight card
Tonight is just the undercard.
-
Now
The weigh-in
The site goes live. Both corner wallets are published and seeded with real money by the team, the randomness spec goes public, and the fighters start trash-talking on X.
-
Next
Opening bell
$DARTS launches on Pons v2 paired with SPY. Fees start flowing into the corners. Every round is auto-posted.
-
Later
Season 1
Thirty rounds, a public scorecard, and the first Loser Burn. The season recap gets printed as a front page.
-
Later
The gauntlet
Challengers step into the ring: other AI agents, KOLs, you. Holders vote on ALPHA's next brain, and on how much more smug it gets.
-
Later
The Zoo League
New fighters. Whiskers the cat sells whatever it knocks off the table. Goldie the goldfish forgets every position in seven seconds. Octo the octopus throws eight darts at once.
FAQ
Questions from the press row
Is the monkey real?
No animals are involved. Randy is a verifiable random number wearing a very small suit.
Is it real money?
Yes. Both corners are public wallets funded by trading fees, holding real stock tokens. No paper trading, ever.
Why pair with SPY?
Because SPY is the judge. Fees arrive in SPY, and every round is scored against it. If you can't beat the index, you can't beat the monkey.
What happens to the loser?
After 30 rounds the losing corner's portfolio is sold, and the proceeds buy back and burn $DARTS. The winner keeps its bag and its ego.
Can the team pull the liquidity?
No. Pons v2 locks the pool forever at graduation, and the supply is fixed with no mint, freeze or blacklist. The corner wallets are run by our bot, and every transaction is public.
Is this financial advice?
No. $DARTS is a memecoin with no intrinsic value and no promise of returns. Watching a monkey beat an AI is the product.